Conflicted…

It seems every day I see something online at one point or another that makes me want to fight. Not physically, that’s never been my style, but I want to whip out the poison pen (keyboard) and start throwing rhetoric missiles and logic bombs and overriding that impulse can bring me a lot of stress—occasionally so much stress that I give in to it. Other days I wonder why am I holding back?

The thing is I am a Christian and a church leader. My Lord and master tells me people will know I belong to Him by the way I love, and love probably doesn’t include rhetoric missiles and logic bombs. It’s times like this, that I realize it’s probably best to stay in my lane and share the Gospel, after all, that’s what I am called to, right? 

But wait. I don’t just get fired up for no reason. I get fired up because my heart breaks over situations and things I see happening that need to stop and stop yesterday. Isn’t righting wrongs in the lane of someone who follows Jesus? The Bible tells us to speak the truth in love. Of course the issue is when I do speak truth, there is always someone who wants to denigrate it. Truth has gotten really skewed in our world in recent years, and I suspect, barring divine intervention, this will not get better. Am I sinning by not contradicting some of this stuff? After all the Bible says if you know the right thing to do and don’t do it, it’s a sin. Is what I call staying in my lane really just me copping out and staying silent when I should speak? 

I wish I had easy answers to all of this. I know sometimes what makes me want to lash out is not righteous indignation, it’s pride. “If I don’t defend this position, people will think I can’t, and I can, and they will think they beat me…” You know the drill. Sure there are a lot of hurtful people out there, that probably have a few logic bombs coming, but Jesus told me to love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me. To be clear, I don’t necessarily feel persecuted, but there are a lot of times when I can see the people who would stand against me when that time comes. Should I be trying to knock some of this stuff down, and will there come a time when I wish I had, if I don’t?

I think I’ve come to the point of believing very few minds will ever be changed on social media, and very few people are argued into life change. Is my hesitance to speak out, cowardice or pragmatic? Even as I write this another thought comes to mind. Do I believe the Gospel is enough? I know it was enough to change me and my whole perspective on life and I know it still works. Maybe rather than building rhetoric missiles and logic bombs, I should be more actively sharing the truth that sets men free, knowing full well that not everyone will except it, but realizing some will and they are worth the effort. Maybe I’m not so conflicted after all. 

We still have free speech and freedom of religion, we’re still a democracy (yes I know it’s really a constitutional republic), and we still have the right to vote, at least for today, so the best way to change things is still to change the populace. Changing the populace requires changing hearts and minds and I have already established, at least in my own mind, that that won’t happen with online rhetoric and logic. That happens when the Lord Jesus comes into your heart. This then is the direction I will choose, to lay down my weapons and take up my cross. 

Feeling conflicted? Maybe this is your path too.